Best Blonde Joke Ever?

A blonde gets on an aircraft, and plops herself in the first seat in First Class. The flight attendant asks to see her ticket, which the blonde hands over. “I’m sorry ma’am, but you’re going to have to move back to coach, this is the first class area of the aircraft, and your ticket is for coach”.

To which the blonde replies, “I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York First Class, because I deserve it!!!!”. She refuses to budge.

The flight attendant gets the senior flight attendant, and explains the situation. The Sr. flight attendant goes over to the blonde, and patiently explains the ins and outs of first class versus coach, ticket prices, etc., and instructs the blonde to gather her belongings and go back to coach. To which the blonde replies, “I’m blonde, and I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York First Class, because I deserve it!!!!”, and defiantly refuses to move.

Not sure what move to make next, the senior flight attendant knocks on the cockpit door, explains the situation and informs the Captain that there’s a dumb blonde in First Class who won’t go sit where she belongs.  To which the Captain replies “No problem, I’ve got it”.

He leaves the cockpit, calmly walks over to the blonde, leans over, and whispers in her ear.  She jumps up like a bat out of hell, grabs all of her stuff, and runs back to coach.  The Captain walks back over to the flight attendants, who are standing there in awe.

“What on earth did you say to her, Captain, to get her to move like that?”.

“Easy”, he said, “I told her First Class wasn’t going to New York!”.

~ Blonde Gator

(all blonde jokes gratefully accepted here).

11 Responses to “Best Blonde Joke Ever?”

  1. avatar ant says:

    A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone, upset that the jigsaw puzzle she is working on doesn’t look like the picture. So the boyfriend agrees to help over the phone.

    “What is it supposed to look like?”

    “A tiger” says the blonde

    “What kind of tiger? A real one? A drawing?”

    “A cartoon looking tiger.” she says

    “Is it doing anything in particular? Running or something?”, asks the boyfriend.

    The blonde replies, “Well, his finger is up and he’s saying ‘Thheyyrre Ggrrreat!!”.

    I know, it’s lame, but I couldn’t resist.

  2. avatar PortiaElizabeth says:

    A blonde needs to earn some extra money and decides to try doing odd jobs. She goes to a wealthy neighborhood, hoping she will get work. She knocks on a door and a man answers.
    “Hi,” says the blonde. “I’m trying to earn some money. Do you have any jobs you’d like done?”
    “Well,” the man replied I guess you could paint my porch. Everything you need is in the garage.”
    Thrilled, the blonde leaves and is back in only an hour. Surprised at her speed in completing the job, the man hands her $50.
    “Thanks!” she smiled. “Oh by the way. That’s not a Porsche. That’s a Ferrari.”

    Hey, is that a blonde intelligence test at the bottom? (five – ___ =2)

  3. avatar Eagle's Dominion says:

    BOB & THE BLONDE:
    Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
    He sat down next to a blonde at the bar
    And stared up at the TV.
    The 10 PM news was coming on.
    The news crew was covering the story
    Of a man on the ledge of a large building
    Preparing to jump.
    The blonde looked at Bob and said,
    “Do you think he’ll jump?”
    Bob said,
    “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”
    The blonde replied,
    “Well, I bet he won’t.
    Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said,
    “You’re on!”
    Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
    The guy on the ledge
    Did a swan dive off the building,
    Falling to his death.
    The blonde was very upset,
    But willingly handed her $20 to Bob.
    “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
    Bob replied,
    “I can’t take your money.
    I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news,
    So I knew he would jump.”
    The blonde replied,
    “I did, too,
    But I didn’t think he’d do it again.”
    Bob took the money.

  4. avatar BlondeThinker says:

    I posted about a joke I know about Florida gators, Georgia Bullgogs and self gratification. SO Here it is.

    How do you keep a Georgia Bulldog from jacking off?

    You paint it’s balls orange and bblue and it can’t beat it for years.

    I live in Florida, but graduated from Rice University in Houston Texas.
    In Texas we make fun of Aggies

  5. avatar BlondeThinker says:

    I posted about a joke I know about Florida Gators, Georgia Bullgogs and self gratification. SO Here it is.

    How do you keep a Georgia Bulldog from jacking off?

    You paint it’s balls orange and blue and it can’t beat it for years.

    I live in Florida, but graduated from Rice University in Houston Texas.
    In Texas we make fun of Aggies

    • avatar Blonde Gator says:

      Damn, GF….that’s GOOD.

      I’m running over to my Gator boards to post it. Thanks so much!

      And do enjoy NB….we have an awful lot of fun there harassing liberals.

  6. avatar Jay Stevens says:

    Speaking of Aggie jokes …
    Know why they stopped serving ice at Aggie football games?
    The guy with the formula graduated.

    Two skydivers, one blonde and one brunette, jump out of an airplane. Who reaches the ground first?
    The brunette. The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

    OTOH, know why most blonde jokes are so short? So brunettes can remember them.

  7. avatar bruce killer says:

    a blonde ties a rope from her wast to the celing and starts swinging like crazy then a brunette walks in and said what are you doing the blond replyed and said killing her self. the brunette said will arent you supose to do it on your neck. the blonde replyed and said I tryed but i could not breath.

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