Blonde Gator

Well, the old Handy Reference Guide to Obama’s Gaffes & Goofs list is still making the occasional appearance on the intertubes.  The last time I saw it, it was linked by Tom Blumer, most excellent business blogger, at his BizzyBlog.  Tom is also a Contributing Editor at NewsBusters.

I expressed trepidation (particularly at rehashing Hillz’s “old” gaffes), but Tom convinced me that it must be done…all of it!  And, inasmuch as there’s no time like the present, a mere three days after Her Heinous’s positively historic campaign roll-out (V.4.0), it’s time to get off the dime.  But I digress.  After a bit of discussion, I’ve decided to concentrate on the “Most Historic Campaign for the First Female (insert your own adjectives here) Preezy, Evah”…with a supplemental section for Broomstick One’s Classical Gas Gaffes.

As I said, there’s no time like the present, and after only three days into the most historic campaign, evah, the Gaffes/Goofs are already   ♫Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin, on the Rivah♫   (okay, I’ll stop w/the music videos) but you must admit, music, and Rum, make the insanity a little easier to take.

OH JACKPOT!  We’re not even into Day 4 of the Most Historic Campaign for a Female Preezy, Evah….and we’ve already racked up Gaffe (or is this a lie?) #5!  (As the gaffes rack up, this gaffe’s position shall certainly change, just seek out “Lies About Grandparents” if you want to know which Lie/Gaffe is the Original #5).  It’s turning into a banner day….

HISTORIC FIRST FEMALE PREEZY EVAH GAFFES/GOOFS:

1. Always About The Chillun ~ Let’s Kick Them Out of the Park
2. Astroturfs Her Own Intimate “Meet the Voters One-on-One” Event
3. Avoids Press Questions by Talking to Herself
4. Blew Off IT Security Training at State Department
5. Brings Back the Twang for South Carolina Speech
6. Brings Back the Twang for South Carolina ~ Redux
7. Brings Back the Twang in Alabama ~ Part Trois
8. Brings Back the Twang in Memphis ~ Part Quatre
9. Brings Back the Twang in Iowa ~ Part Cinq
10. Campaign Reboot #HOW MANY?
11. Can you say “Misprision”?  I Knew You Could.  Misprision Defined
12. Cites “Ideas from 5 Iowans I Just Met” (who were screened and pre-arranged for this “random” meeting)
13. Condemns “Scourge of Sexual Assaults”, as THE Former Manager of Bimbo Eruptions.  What is a Bimbo Eruption, You Ask?
14. Confiscates Cell Phones & Cameras of Iowa Voters during “Meet the Candidate Event
15. Corrals the Press Corps
16. Corrals the Press ~ The Prequel
17. Creepy, Paranoid Rules for “Every Day Americans” to Meet Hillz ~ h/t Bijou
18. Dead Wrong (Again) ~ h/t Par for the Course
19. Defends Obama’s “ISIS is JV” Comment
20. Flips on TPP ~ Was For it 45x Before She Was Against It
21. “Former Presidents Won’t Have to Declare Their Criminal History at the Very Start of the Hiring Process”
22. Fought 80 Years AGAINST Children & Families ~ h/t Tom Blumer
23. Free Speech for Me, but NOT for Thee ~ Video Removed, But on YouTube (for now)
24. Friend of the Criminal Class ~ “Stop Mass Incarcerations”
25. Hillz the Hipster ~ Bombs on Social Media Posting
26. Hillz the Hipster ~ Stays at 5* Hipstoric Hotel in Davenport, IA ~ h/t rotolab
27. Hispandering ~ Oops!! Backfires!
28. Huma: “She’s Often Confused”
29. “It Should be Disqualifying, in Iowa of all States, to Avoid Answering Questions” h/t Cajun2
30. Keep Those Scummy Reporters AWAY from ME!
31. Lies About Benghazi E-mails (Easy 2 Minute Recap)
32. Lies About Grandparents’ Immigration History
33. Lies About Gun Death Statistics
34. Locks Students in Classrooms on Her Iowa “Listening Tour”
35. Lost in Translation
36. Math is HARD!!!! ~ h/t Tom Blumer
37. Meet the New {Sincere} Bitch, Same as the Old {Insincere} Bitch (from her very own book!)  Again
38. Meet the New Bitch, Same as the Old Bitch…Part (um, A LOT!)
39. Oops….Caught w/Pants on Fire Lying about E-mail Supoena
40. Say WHAT? ~ Yoko Claims She had an Affair with Hillz ~ h/t Hugh
41. Statistics and Lies
42. Stiffs the Working Stiffs at Chipotle on the First Day of her Campaign
43. Tells the Little People “Go to the End of the Line”
44. The MOST Outrageous Lie
45. Twelve Words You Sexists Can’t Use about Hillz, Dammit!
46. Unlike the Rest of Us, Gets Taller With Age
47. Very Fond of Potted Plants
48. What Law?  Scooby Van Parked in a Handicap Spot
49. What Law? ~ Part Deux  Scooby Van Speeds To Events w/o Lights or Sirens (in Inclement Weather)….Screw the Peons
50. What Law? ~ Part Troix  Scooby Van Speeds Again ~ h/t succotash
51. What Law? ~ Part Quatre ~ Scooby Van is STILL Speeding
52. Who Are You Again?

 CLASSIC HILLZ GAFFES/GOOFS:

1. Ah Don’t Feeeel in No Ways Tahhred
2. Dead Broke (Bonus:  Diane is Drunk, Again!)
3. Dodged Snipper Fire in Bosnia
4. Duchess of Vulgarity
5. Favorite Excuse, Evah.  Ditto
6. Favorite Excuse, Evah. Double Ditto
7. Freakin’ Tech Wizard at Deleting Suspect E-Mails
8. Inconvenient Truths & the Lies that Hide Them ~ h/t DeniseVB
9. Lied About Chelsea’s Whereabouts on 9/11 ~ h/t MOTUS
10. The REAL War on Women (and Children)
11. Threw Mom Under the Bus for Hillz-Fabricated Edmund Hillary Lie
12. Tried to Join the Marine Corps
13. “We Must Empathize with Islamic Terrorists!”
14. “We’re Going to Take Things Away From You on the Behalf of the Common Good”
15. What Difference, at THIS Point, Does it Make?

Am I missing any Latest or Greatest Gaffes/Goofs?  No worries, it’s all good.

By all means, please lend me your help and support, by leaving your comment with a Hillary Gaffe/Goof.  And a round of applause for Tom Blumer, who merrily sent me on my way down this rabbit hole of insanity.

~ Blonde Gator

 

 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2015 at 8:35 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.